Life Is A Daring Adventure

I'll do a quick update first:

On Wednesday I talked about Saying Goodbye Through Every Conversation

On Thursday I talked about A Bad Chapter Within A Very Good Book

On Friday I talked about one of my favorite current tiny delights.

On Saturday I talked about the question Can You Ever Really Recover From Loss?

And that brings us up to today. One other thing of tiny note. This week I will be guest posting over at Running With Sass. You can read the post here.  And while you're at it, you should spend a few minutes reading over the blog- it's great and well worth your time:) 

I will be doing another "media fast" as I prepare for the upcoming summer, making plans, and setting goals. I'll be "gone" for about a week or so, but promise to have some great posts when I come back! It's been a hectic last 2 months for me, and I feel this will be incredibly helpful and beneficial for me. I will certainly miss reading your comments and blog posts, but I will catch up and respond when I get back on my computer. 

I want to leave you with a quote that has been sticking out to me lately as I've been making decisions and brainstorming about goals for the next few months:

Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.- Helen keller

If we lived life as if it was a daring adventure, I wonder how we would push ourselves, and how our lives would change? Just a thought for you to mull over while I'm taking my own little mental health break. 

Here are a few things I'd like to know:

1. How do you make life a daring adventure for yourself?

2. Throughout the summer, what would you like to see posts about on this blog?

3. Any questions that you would like answered on my "About Me" page?

Can You Actually "Recover" From A Loss?

“Recovery is a misleading and empty expectation. We recover from broken limbs, not amputations. Catastrophic loss by definition precludes recovery. It will transform us or destroy us, but it will never leave us the same. There is no going back to the past, which is gone forever, only going ahead to the future, which has yet to be discovered. Whatever the future is, it will, and must, include the pain of the past with it. Sorrow never entirely leaves the soul of those who have suffered a severe loss. If anything, it may keep going deeper” –A Grace Disguised (J. Sittser)

If you've missed the backstory of the book A Grace Disguised, click here and here to read about it. For my other posts in this series, click here and scroll down to the "loss" category. 

In many ways, I don't have much to say in this post, because I believe that the quote says the thing I want to say in a much more succinct and beautiful way. The thing with loss is that we never fully recover from it, and sometimes we act like we can. When we don't, we beat ourselves up. Or, on the other hand, we become angry when others around us don't recover completely from their loss. When you lose someone dear to you, it's like an amputation. When a limb is amputated, you learn to function again, and you can have a happy and successful life. However, your life won't ever be the same, you won't function in exactly the same way, and you will experience phantom pains. This is true with loss. Loss changes us deeply, we function in the world and view it differently, and we experience "phantom pains". You cannot recover from a loss, but you can learn to function once again, and you CAN have a good life once again. 

Life's Tiny Delights: Enjoying Nature

God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on trees and flowers and clouds and stars.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Martin Luther

From time to time I like to focus on some of life's tiny delights. You can read my latest posts on this here and here. Because it's Spring, and I've been spending a lot of time outdoors, much of what I've seen include the signs of warmer weather- green grass, birds, and beautiful flowers. I could take picture after picture of flowers, but I try to limit myself. Remember that with life's tiny delights, it's about being mindful of all the little joys we have in life, not just the big events? Doing this will allow us to enjoy the moment to moment life that we've been given, and to be much healthier overall. So, that being said, here is my favorite little delight at the moment. Enjoy!

What are your tiny delights right now? How do you try to be mindfully aware of nature around you?

A Bad Chapter Within A Very Good Book

“But I have this sense that the story God has begun to write he will finish. That story will be good. The accident remains now, as it always has been, a horrible experience that did great damage to us and to so many others. It was and will remain a very bad chapter. But the whole of my life is becoming what appears to be a very good book” (p. 212) –A Grace Disguised

If you want to know the backstory to the book A Grace Disguised, you can click here to read the story behind the book, and the experience of loss by the author. 

I've loved this quote for a number of years. In life, whether it's a loss, grieving, death, or something else, we WILL have bad chapters. That certainly is a promise for our life. But just because it's a bad chapter doesn't mean that your entire life will be a good book. You can choose to learn from the bad chapter, but you can also choose to end the chapter, and to allow your life story to be a very good book. And, just because the whole of your life is a good book doesn't discount the fact that the chapter was bad. 

When you read a book or watch a movie, imagine if there was no tension, drama, fight, or "action". It wouldn't be a very good or entertaining story, right? We need some of the "bad" to help make the story good. Isn't that true with life as well? 

When you're in the midst of pain and suffering remember that it's a chapter, and it's not the whole story. This will be part of the story, but the story can still be great! 

Saying Goodbye Through Every Conversation

If you missed my latest post in my current series on grief, loss, death, and suffering (ooh...sounds less then fun, huh?), you can check it out here. I love the quote that the post is based around, so be sure to read it (at least the quote portion!).

I've experienced a number of kinds of deaths- old people, old people who are sick, young people who are sick, and young people who were perfectly healthy and fine and caught in the middle of an accident. Each brings about a different way to process grieving and death.

One thing I know I've experienced, and heard from others in the same position, is how they don't feel closure when someone dies suddenly. When someone is sick, there are a lot of good byes, final sharing of memories, taking final pictures, etc... It feels like there is some closure. However, when someone is in an accident and dies suddenly, those things don't get to happen. This can potentially make the grieving process much worse. Of course there are ways to try to find this- letter writing, reading a letter at a funeral or cemetery, or something of similar fashion. These are all good, and I would certainly encourage you to try them.

However, I'd like to share a perspective that I landed on about 5 years ago when it comes to sudden death. As we live our life with others, each interaction and conversation should be a goodbye. Think about it. When you are saying "goodbye" to someone who is very sick, you may share memories, laugh about an awkward moment, talk about how they've changed your life, discuss what they meant to you, and say "I love you." Shouldn't that be happening throughout a lot of the conversations that we have? Obviously every time I call up one of my parents or siblings I don't give them a list of ways they've changed my life. But from time to time I make sure to do that, so that, given an accident, I feel like I've said the things that are important to say. So even with an accident, if we've had a good relationship all along, we have been saying goodbye throughout our conversations.

How do you say "goodbye to others" through your conversations with them?

I Am Waiting For you, For An Interval.

I know I've taken a little break from my series on grief, loss, & suffering, but I've decided to add a few more things to this in the next few days. If you've missed my other posts on this topic, you can click here and go to the "loss" category. Each of my posts will be listed there by title. 

I was given this a number of years ago during a particularly difficult loss in my life, and it brought about such a beautiful image, so I thought i'd share it:

"Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name; speak to me in the easy way which you always used. But no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effort, without the trace of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near. Just around the corner. All is well."

-Henry Scott Holland Canon of St. Paul's Cathedral in London, England

When there is a death, I think it's such a shame when people refuse to ever talk about the person. I understand that sometimes talking can be painful, and trying to forget seems like the least painful route. However, the memories are still there, even if we try to avoid them. I think it's beautiful when people can sit and laugh about funny memories of the person, and carry them forward in life. People can continue to live on through our memories, and when we don't recognize the person and their life anymore, some of that goes away. Everyone deals with death differently, and I don't ever want to say there's just "one right way" to deal with it. There's not. But despite the pain, I've chosen to embrace the memories and share the stories. I found that this brings more joy then pain to my life, and throughout any given day, a little smile may come to my face at the memory of something. For me, this has been a much healthier approach to death.

What do you think of this quote? Is it hard to continue to talk about the person, or do you enjoy embracing the memories? 

Thankfulness Project Monday

“When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.”

-G.K. Chesterton

I found this quote a few days ago, and flagged it for a Thankfulness Monday post. If you click the "thankfulness project" label at the end of this post, you can read more about the project, and see some of my past thankfulness posts as well!

So here are a few of the things that I am full of gratitude for this week:

• Cleaning! Ok, I know, this is probably not something that is really high on a lot of people's list of "fun things to do." But this is something that I am thankful for this week for a few different reasons. As I have mentioned in a few of my other posts, this has been a very busy spring, and I have been out of town at least half of the weekends. This makes getting every day chores difficult. I spent all Friday night and Saturday morning cleaning and organizing. I not only feel great because of this, but my place looks great:) The other reason I'm thankful for this is that many people don't have the ability, due to health and physical reasons, to be able to clean for themselves. I'm thankful I'm healthy enough to clean!
• Going On Walks: Walking is one of my favorite forms of activity and exercise. It's healthy on my joints, and it's easy to do with friends. I love the fresh air, being out in the sunshine, and seeing nature (like the picture above). Here's a picture from my 5 mile walk earlier this week. 
• Having A Job As A Fellow Traveler: Like I posted about yesterday, as a counselor I get to be a fellow traveler with my clients. I feel so blessed to have the job that I do, to hear the stories I do, and to see people struggle and fight to get to a healthy place. I Love it!
• Mediterranean Cuisine: I love food from the mediterranean region! It's delicious and healthy, and brings a smile to my face every time I even catch a glimpse of it! YUM. 
• My Little Lifesaver: Yes, this has made it on to my thankfulness list before, but this week, as the beautiful spring flowers are out, I've felt so thankful multiple times a day for it. It's saved a lot of sinus pressure and headaches. My life is much better in the spring because of this little guy. 

What are you thankful for today?

The Therapist As A Fellow Traveler

"The therapist is not just an observer of the client's emotional journey or even a disinterested guide, but a fellow traveler, resonating with the client's sadness, anger, and anxiety."

-Psychotherapy Networker, pg 26 (March/April 2011)

I found this quote last weekend as I was going through the Psychotherapy Networker Magazine, and felt that it resonated with what we were taught in grad school. Of course there are some counselors that behave as if they were the disinterested guide, and I think that's unfortunate. If you've had an experience with a counselor like that, I'm sorry. Don't give up on counseling just because you've had one poor experience.

When I first started going to counseling (many years before I myself became a counselor), I often wondered what was going on in the mind of my counselor: what did they think their role was, how did they perceive me, and what their experience was with me? Now that I'm a counselor, I feel like I have a little insight into what they may have been thinking. 

I like the idea that I am a fellow traveler on a journey with the Client. I'm acutely aware and humbled every morning that I walk in my office at the immense responsibility that I have. I'm a witness to a great amount of pain, grief, struggle, joy, and success as my clients fight towards healing and health. I love my job, and I love getting to be a fellow traveler on so many clients' journeys. I love being challenged by my clients, and I love that my life changes because of their story. I feel blessed, and I feel humbled, to hear so many peoples' stories, to be trusted with their emotions, and to travel along with them. 

Do you ever wonder what your counselor is thinking as you're talking? If you could change one thing about your counselor (past or present) what would it be? If you've never gone to a counselor before, what might you like to see from your counselor?

Tropical Oatmeal

If you've been a reader for very long, one thing you may have realized about me is that I LOVE oatmeal. It's delicious, healthy, and brightens my morning.
I even like to try some weird combinations, like this Peanut Butter & Jelly {with chocolate} Oatmeal!
Today is going to be a long day full of a lot of cleaning and organizing, so I knew I needed to start my day off in a healthy manner. Because it's spring, I'm starting to crave tropical weather. So, I decided to add a new twist to my oatmeal today.

I cooked the oatmeal to the texture I liked. 

Add a small amount of brown sugar

Add: Papaya & Mango Chunks

If I had them: I would've added pineapple or coconut flakes to the top. I'm not sure how it would have tasted. 

This mixture was amazing and delicious, and a perfect start to my Saturday morning!

Now I'm off to work on my cleaning to-do list for the day. It looks a little something like this:

What's on your schedule today? 

When Tomorrow Comes...

I'm sorry for my lack of post yesterday. I did have a post up on Wednesday (a delicious pizza recipe!), but blogger hasn't completely restored everything yet, I guess. If that post has vanished forever, I'll repost...it's too good to NOT share it!

I found this quote today, and I thought it was great, and just knew that I had to pass it along?

"This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to 

use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today 

is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When 

tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something 

that you have left behind...let it be something good."  

 -  Author Unknown 

I wonder how our choices in the day would be different if we started every day with this thought, with the awareness that we have been given this day, and that we have the choice to use it for good, or let it waste away. Anyways, I know you all aren't probably going to want to read a long post on a Friday night, so I'm leaving it at this. Just a little something to mull over. 

A few questions:

What might be different if you were mindfully aware of this quote?

What topics would you like to see discussed on this blog?

Do you have any fun plans for the weekend?

Blogger Baby Shower

We all love a good cause, right? Part of being a healthy individual is being involved with those around us. While this can come in a number of different ways, I thought I'd present one opportunity to you.

Callie at the Wannabe Athlete has started a blogger baby shower to help bring needed items to moms and their babies in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Callie's sister lives in a hard hit area, and sees the need of the people every day. Check out her post to get the background story for this cause!

This is an easy way to contribute to those in real need. You can click here to see the baby registry on amazon. Each person who makes a purchase will be entered into a drawing for a giftcard. You certainly don't need to donate, but I thought I'd pass along the opportunity as a way to get involved!

Thankfulness Project Monday

Blessings are oftentimes not valued till they are gone. --Thomas Fuller

I don't want to get to the end of my life, or really even the end of a month, and realize that I've let something slip by me without acknowledging it and delighting in it. Plus, of course, practicing gratitude has many health benefits as well. 

That being said, here are a few of the things I'm thankful for today:

• My Mom: My post yesterday was dedicated to my mom, and just a few of the many things I appreciate about her. You can check it out if you'd like to know why!
• The Ability To Love After Loss: I posted about this earlier this week (you can read it here). The fact that I started to shut others down after my first loss makes me feel a little sad, and I'm so thankful I was able to open my heart to loving others again. I would've missed out on a lot of joy and laughter in relationships if I hadn't been able to do this.
• Spring Flowers: I'm pretty sure I said this one sometime in the last few weeks, but it's been very much true this week, so I thought I'd post it again. I've spent a few mornings and evenings this week taking pictures of them. They smell and look beautiful, and bring joy to my heart. 

picture from earlier this week

• Time to Clean: I'm sure I've said this before, but since mid March I've been on the go and out of town quite a bit. When I'm home, I've been trying to get the essential things done, and haven't had the chance to really clean. This changed this weekend, as I spent most of Saturday cleaning and organizing!
• My Online Acquaintances and Friends: That's right! I'm thankful for each of you! I appreciate our conversations, and your posts. I learn and am encouraged every day from you, so thank you for that!

Ok- your turn! What are you thankful for today?

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all you mother's out there! I hope you have a great day, and are spoiled by those around you:) Extra thoughts & prayers to all you mother's who have lost a child, and those of you who have lost your moms. Days like this can be hard and triggering (you can read some of my posts on loss here).

Because I have chosen to hold on to some anonymity on this blog (you can read my reason for this here), I can't post a picture of my mom and me, or share really personal stories. I would love to do this, though! But, because I like to have some personal touches on here, I thought I'd share a few things about my mom.
I've been lucky enough to be close to my mom my whole life. While we had a tense year back in college for a few reasons, we got that smoothed out, and it's been good ever sense. Is she perfect? No. Am I perfect in our relationship? Umm...NO. But we at least maintain communication and feel safe enough to bring things up as we need to. We won't always see eye to eye, and that's ok. I'm blessed to have the mom that I do. In a year of a lot of change in my life, she has been a steady force, and someone who always has a listening ear. While I can be emotional at times, she's good at listening and helping me to rationally think things out. We share a love of so many things in life, and it's fun to just sit and laugh for hours. I appreciate her very much. I appreciate the late nights she's spent with me throughout my life, whether that's because I was sick, crying over the death of a friend, or stressed about school. I appreciate the time she took to teach me to drive, read, write, be confident in myself, laugh, and be a healthy individual. And I appreciate that she realizes that neither of us are perfect, and that's ok.

My mom sent me a card in the mail this weekend, thanking me for being such a great daughter. I may have teared up just a little bit. She's always been there with encouragement, starting with the little notes i'd get in my lunch box as a child:)

Happy Mother's Day not only to my own mom, but to all you mom's out there!

Did you do anything fun this weekend? 

FROYO: Life's Tiny Delights

Remember my post last month on Life's Tiny Delights? If you're too lazy to check the post out (hey- I don't blame you- It's FRIDAY!), I'll really quickly summarize: We get busy in life, and tend to look forward to the "big things" in life. All the while, we miss all the tiny joys in life. What if we took note of the little delights in life, became mindful of them, and took joy in these things as well.

After reading for the last few months about the frozen yogurt experiences of many blog writers, I finally had the chance to try it out for myself last weekend. Trust me, I thought of very little else the entire day leading up to the event:) The yogurt place I went to had at least 20 different flavors of yogurt and sorbet from which to choose. After filling my cup up with watermelon sorbet with a little cake batter on the side, I walked over to a long row of toppings, plus a salad bar like counter full of fresh cut up fruit. If I could eat this every day, I absolutely would.

Yup- that's fresh strawberries, pineapple, kiwi, and mango, along with brownies, cookie dough chunks, and coconut flakes. And of course topped with sprinkles. Because everything is better with sprinkles.
While the person I was with inhaled their froyo, I took my time, mindfully savoring every bite as a tiny delight in life. It was delicious.

Choosing To Love After Loss

“The problem of choosing to love again is that the choice to love means living under the constant threat of further loss. But the problem of choosing not to love is that that the choice to turn from love means imperiling the life of the soul, for the soul thrives in an environment of love. Soul-full people love; soul-less people do not. If people want their souls to grow through loss, whatever the loss is, they must eventually decide to love even more deeply than they did before. They must respond to the loss by embracing love with renewed energy and commitment” (p. 183). 

-A Grace Disguised (Jerry Sittser)

If you've lost someone before, you may understand the fear of choosing to love (remember this point?) . After experiencing my first "really painful" death (I knew others before, but never a good friend), I seriously questioned whether or not it was ever worth it to love if it meant experiencing the screaming pain that I felt. To be honest, for a few weeks I had myself convinced that I not only needed to not love new people in life, but I also needed to pull away from my current friends. My rationale: If I don't love, I can't hurt, and I won't ever be in this position again. It took about 5 weeks of really rationalizing with myself about why I HAD to love and connect to be healthy. Since that decision, I made friends who I have since lost. And every time I experience that pain again, the thought floats through my head that loving is not worth it. 

I have learned to quiet that voice. If I hadn't loved, I wouldn't have the joy, laughter, and memories that I do. These are PRICELESS and of great worth to me, even if I have to pay the price with tears and pain. Loving after loss is scary...very, very scary. It's hard to make a choice to open yourself to pain and hurt. But in choosing the pain, we choose life, joy, happiness, and laughter. You can't have one without the other... It's part of the experience of humanity. 

Have you ever been tempted to stop loving after loss? How did you convince yourself that loving is worth it?

Also- Happy Cinco De Mayo! Any fun plans tonight? 

When It Comes to Loss, Remember... {Part 2}

"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."
- C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

In yesterday's post, I listed a few important things to remember when going through a loss of any kind. Here are a few more:

•       Sometimes it can be very difficult or scary to let others close to you after you’ve lost someone. That’s a normal thing to feel! However, social support is incredibly important when going through the grieving process. (It sometimes seems that it's not worth the pain to love or to hope...IT IS, even when it doesn't feel that way!)
•      Grief isn’t a purely emotional experience. Grief will affect you emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually-it will affect the entire person, not just the emotions of the person.
•       Sometimes people feel guilty or like they are discounting the grief or the love they had for the person if they laugh or have any moments of happiness. Again, this is normal for many people going through the grieving process. However, laughter doesn’t take away the love that you have for the person, or mean that you aren’t in pain. You can grieve and laugh all in the same day-that is OK and even healthy!

         Have you ever felt like any of these things when going through a loss? How do you think grief & fear are similar? 

When It Comes to Loss, Remember... {Part 1}

Happy Tuesday! What a week it has been with big news events. Whew. Who needs a little break? I should have mentioned this earlier (my bad!) but I just want to send my thoughts & prayers out to the people of Alabama specifically right now as they are grieving and dealing with the loss of people, houses, and a sense of comfort and normalcy.

To catch you up on my previous posts on grief, loss, and suffering, here are the links:

• Myths & Misconceptions of Grief & Loss {Part 1}
• Myths & Misconceptions of Grief & Loss {Part 2}
• Dealing With Grief {Part 1}
• Dealing With Grief {Part 2}
• Dealing With Grief {Part 3}
• The Experience of Suffering and Loss
• Do You Let Suffering Transform You?

Here are a few other "facts" to remember when dealing with any time of grief or loss:

•      When it comes to grief, it’s important to remember that there isn’t one “right way” to deal with grief.
•       People will offer a lot of advice and suggestions. Remember-you are a different person then the advice giver, so while some things may work for you, others will not. THIS IS OK!! Try the different things out as your feel comfortable and don’t get down on yourself when they don’t work. Just try something different!
•      There is no fast forward button on grief, and no magic pill to take it away. There’s no option but to walk through it. It may be a long, difficult, and dark night, but the light of morning WILL be on the other side. Happiness and joy CAN return again. But no one can really make the feelings of pain go away. You need to walk through the experience and learn to deal with it in a healthy manner to help heal. 

      What's your favorite part of Tuesdays? 

Thankfulness Project Monday

Wow- what a week! Today I will be taking a break from my series on grief and loss to focus on what I'm thankful for today! (you can catch up on my posts by following this link and this link- the other posts are linked to these posts!) This week has been crazy, and in many regards I feel like I haven't gotten oriented from Easter Break yet. Hopefully that will come this week as my schedule goes back to normal this week. That being said, here are some of the things I'm thankful for right now:

• Safety: I flew through the Atlanta airport only an hour and a half after the tornados hit Alabama. That being said, there was incredibly bad turbulence. I could complain about how I felt motion sick for a few days, or how I missed my connecting flight, but I'm so thankful that except for a few bruises on my arms and legs from being tossed around, I was safe!
• Getting to see someone near and dear to my heart: It's hard to be away from people we so deeply love and care about. This week was a time to reconnect and spend time with someone that I haven't had the chance to see in a few months. It was great:)
• Spring Flowers: While they make my allergies go off the charts, the flowers are absolutely beautiful, and make my morning drive to work SO MUCH better. The beautiful scents carry through the air as I do my workouts... I love them:)
• Sunrise: Just as we have hope when the seasons change, the sunrise each morning gives us hope that life continues on, and beauty can be found in the future. I got to see the sunrise above the clouds this week:) It's one of my favorite things... 
• Organization: Ok, so my life actually feels pretty unorganized right now. But I am so thankful that I can get organized pretty quickly, and that organization helps me feel mentally healthy. Time for some major organization this week!

So there are a few of the things I'm thankful for this Monday morning! Also, in light of the recent news of Osama Bin Laden, I'd like to remind everyone to send out thoughts and prayers for those affected by the events of September 11th. News like this has the potential to be triggering for the families & friends... although it's been almost 10 years, they can still use our prayers...

What are you thankful for this Monday morning? What was the highlight of your weekend?

Dealing With Grief {Part 3}

As the title suggests, this is the 3rd post in my discussion of healthy ways to deal with grief (let's be honest- if I'd included 12-15 things in one post, who would've actually stuck around to read the entire thing?). You can click here and here to read the other posts.
Here are a few more healthy ways you can choose to deal with grief in your life:

•         LAUGH. Find something (a funny website, TV show, favorite comedy, etc…) that will help you laugh a little bit.
•         Create a memory scrapbook: Sometimes when we lose something or someone important, we retell the stories and memories over and over and over again so we don’t forget them. Instead of having to do that, it can be helpful to create a book of memories and pictures and funny stories. Then you don’t have to retell the stories over and over because you always have a place to go back to. This can be freeing.
•         Journal! This can be helpful in identifying and processing, and even expressing, the various emotions and experiences that you are going through. Sometimes, writing can be difficult, so typing something like an online blog (you can block to private so no one else can read!) can seem a little less overwhelming to do.
•          Figure out a special way to remember your loved one: Pick up an interest they loved, get involved in an organization that they valued, or create an organization/walk/group they would’ve loved (i.e. your spouse dies of cancer so you hold a cancer walk once or twice a year). 

After looking at the 12 ways I've posted here to help deal with loss, do you think any of these might be beneficial in your life? How was your weekend?