Thursday, January 19, 2012

Playing the Victim Role To Stress

"When we have been prevented from learning how to say no, our bodies end up saying it for us." 
- Dr. Mate

When we put our body into constant stress mode for extended periods of time, we will end up paying a price. Whether it is physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, or relationally, it will affect us in some way or another. I think sometimes we get caught in the trap of thinking that we are invincible to stress, and that somehow we can avoid paying the price.

If that's how you think, and it certainly is tempting to think that way because it allows us to not have to change, let me break this to you: YOU WILL end up paying the price, and probably have already in some way.

Today I want to focus on not playing the victim role! I think there's often the temptation to be the victim to stress. After all, events happen to us that we can't control, and we must simply react to what we've been given. This causes stress, doesn't it? Absolutely! However, when we play the victim role to most anything in life, we tend to take the passive approach, and use that thing as an excuse to not do x, y, or z in our life. That thing might make things much more difficult for us, but if we take the passive role, we end up handing our life over to that thing.

And so it is with stress. Many of us have built our own prisons when it comes to stress, and kept ourselves in a passive victim role. We stay locked up in the prisons that we have built by our own choice. We don't always get to choose what happens to us, but we do get to choose how we respond. That means that we can choose if we want to be a victim to stress, or if we want to stand up and try to fight against it. 

It WILL be uncomfortable at times. It will mean living differently then we have in the past. It will mean engaging in healthy stress management. 

Here's my question to you: Are you willing to stand up and play an active role in fighting against stress in your life? Are you willing to say no, set limits appropriately, and take care of yourself? Are you willing to take control of your behaviors? 

I invite you to join me in the journey of fighting against stress, and set up the structure of your life to limit the amount of stress that you experience!

Now it's your turn:
Why is it easy to play the victim role to stress, blaming it for things that happen in life instead of standing up and being responsible for our own behaviors? 


  1. Most people don't want to believe they are ultimately responsible for their mishaps. It is even interesting to see people with victim mentality actually set up circumstances that will keep them a victim. I can allow stress to affect me in a negative way, most people do to some degree. I am working on staying in the moment because it lessens stress quite a bit. After all, in this moment, I have all that I need. Thank you for your insights.


  2. Because some people are not ready to take responsibility for their actions/choices etc, nor are they ready to move past what keeps them bound in chains. Some people chose "reactive" rather than "proactive" because thats all they know. Stayin in what is familiar.

  3. Absolutely! We tend to like to stay with what we know. It's more comfortable that way