How To Survive A Break Up {Part 4}

"People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what is bitter and move on."

-Bill Cosby

When going through a break up, it's easy to feel helpless, like there's nothing you can do but be a victim to grief and sadness. While the sadness will still be there, there are still a number of things that you can choose to do to keep yourself healthy and not make the grief worse then it already is.

Here are a few more tips for surviving a break up in a healthy way:

• Love yourself. Focus on loving and taking care of yourself in the best way possible. This sort of combines engaging in self care behaviors, engaging in fun behaviors, and focusing on the positives in yourself, and it is very important. 
• Try as best as possible to forgive yourself and the other person. Sometimes things happen in relationships that cause it to fall apart. If you were the cause of the problems, do your best to not beat yourself up, but instead learn from what happened and forgive yourself. If it was the other person, holding onto bitterness will just keep you trapped in a prison of negativity. Try to embrace forgiveness as best as you can.
• Challenge & Change the cognitive distortions that can easily creep into our every day thoughts. These types of thoughts are not only irrational, but also negative and will lead to more anxiety and depression instead of allowing you to heal. Try to ensure that your thoughts are as rational as possible (click here for some helpful hints for doing this)
• Give yourself permission to take the time that you need. Grieving a relationship can take a large range of time to "get over", from a month or two to several months. Don't beat yourself up when you don't feel happy and back to normal as quickly as you might feel is appropriate. Grief takes time, so give yourself permission to grieve fully and heal in a healthy manner. 

In case you've missed any of the other posts in this series, here they are:
How To Help A Friend Through A Breakup {Part 1}
How to Help A Friend Through A Breakup {Part 2}
How To Help A Friend Through A Breakup {Part 3}
How To Survive A Breakup {Part 1}
How To Survive A Breakup {Part 2}
How To Survive A Breakup {Part 3}

Now it's your turn!

What makes loving ourselves so difficult (in good times and in bad)?