Thankfulness Project Monday

"There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy."

-Ralph H. Blum

I love the phrase "a quiet joy". Sometimes we search after the next "big loud joy" in our lives (vacations, time of work or school, visits with friends, etc...), but we don't take time to experience the quiet joys in our lives. What if we took the time to focus in on the quiet joys of our every day lives- the smiles of others, the smells of food cooking, the sounds of birds chirping, or the joy of helping someone else out? How might that change us?

Here are a few of the quiet joys from my week that I am thankful for:

• The sound of birds chirping: This isn't a sound I expect to hear in mid-February, but when I woke up this morning I heard them chirping outside my window. I paused for a few moments and allowed myself to enjoy the sound that I so often take for granted in my life. 
• The smell of coffee brewing: I love starting my morning off with a hot cup of coffee, and the smell perks me up, especially on chilly mornings. I have to admit that most of the time I'm guilty of not  pausing to enjoy this little moment of the day. 
• Sunshine! I'm so thankful that this winter has been sunnier then usual. Even on chilly days the feel of sunshine beating down of me is fantastic. 
• Music: Music has the ability to deeply move the soul. It can lift our spirit, transport us back in time, and motivate us to keep going. Music is powerful and enjoyable, and I'm glad that it exists!
• Conversations with family and friends: Sometimes they are planned, sometimes they are unplanned. Either way- I love them! It obviously takes time and intentional effort to reach out to those around us, but it's worth it. 

I challenge each of you to be on the lookout for the "quiet joys" in your life throughout the next week. Pause and notice the sights, sounds, and feelings around you as you live your daily life. 

Now it's your turn!

What makes it difficult to notice the "quiet joys" in your life? What are you thankful for today? 

Surviving The Winter Blues

Many of us notice a decrease in mood in the winter, even if we don't experience Seasonal Affective Disorder. While it can be difficult to motivate yourself or feel happy in a day, there are things that we can do to help get us through the winter blues.

• Participate In A Hobby: A hobby can be beneficial to decrease overall stress, can increase enjoyment, and give us something to look forward to. It can help increase our motivation and allow us to feel a sense of accomplishment. Each of these things is important for helping us feel better when we have the "winter blues". 
• Plan Fun Activities: Having an event to look forward to helps to perk us up a bit and can get us excited and motivated! This provides laughter, enjoyment, fun, and social support. Sometimes when we feel down, having something fun to look forward to at the end of the week can help motivate and "get you through" that week. 
• Exercise: I know, I know. I think many of us get sick of being told to move. However, there's a reason that people talk about it so much. It's healthy, impacts multiple areas of wellness, and really does help! Even getting outside and going on a walk with friends can be helpful!
• Volunteer: Getting outside of ourselves can be helpful in increasing our mood. If you have the time, find a place you can volunteer. Some places you can go for 1-2 hours one time, or you could find a place to volunteer a few hours a week! 
• Get out of the house: Walk around the mall, read at a coffee shop, hang out with friends, go to a club or religious service. The temptation when mood goes down is to isolate. Isolation is the fuel for depression, so resist the urge to lock yourself in your room for days on end. 
• Laugh! Whether it's with friends, watching a funny TV show, or looking at funny pictures online, laughter is healthy. Do it often:) 
• Light Therapy:I've talked about this before, but using a light can help increase mood. Talk to your doctor before using one, however, as it could make mania worse in those who struggle with bipolar disorder. (you can find out more about this treatment here)

These are just a few of the things that have been helpful for me over the years in getting through the gray and gloomy months of winter. For more information on the "winter blues" or seasonal affective disorder, check out the other posts from this series:

What Is Seasonal Affective Disorder?
Causes of Seasonal Affective Disorder
Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder

Treatments For Seasonal Affective Disorder

Now it's your turn!

How do you survive the winter blues? What's your favorite hobby? 

Moving From "Have To" to "Choose To" in College & Career

Remember the post I did a few weeks ago on my advice for college students? If not, I'd check it out.
To continue my trend of passing along wisdom about college, I thought I'd share something that I see in many of my clients, as well as the friends I had when I was in college (and even sometimes myself back when I was in school!).
I want to share a perspective that, if taken to heart and added to your life, could change the way you view school and your purpose there. By the way, this perspective isn't JUST for college students, and applies just as much to your work environments as well.

We are each susceptible to different cognitive distortions. One of these is the idea of "must" and "have to". How many times in your own life do you think something along the lines of "UGH, I have to do _____ and I really don't want to." My next thought is always: You don't HAVE to. You are choosing to.

You see, what we do in our lives is something that we control. If we do or don't do a homework or work assignment, if we don't show up for work or class, and if we fail- it's all our choice and responsibility alone. All of college and career is a series of choices.

Here's an example:
"Ugh- I have to write this paper on depression for my psychology class and I'm really annoyed that I even have to do it." I'm probably going to be angry, stressed, and possibly even resentful the entire time I'm working on the paper.
But what if I changed that thought to this:
"I'm choosing to write this paper on depression because I'm choosing to participate in and do well in my psychology class so that I can get grades that are good because I'm choosing to want to be in the field of psychology and counseling." That's a different perspective, isn't it? I still have to write the paper, BUT I am owning the fact that I am choosing to do this paper as part of a class I'm choosing to take because I chose a specific major because I chose a job field that I love and am interested in being a part of.

Here's another example:
"Ugh, I don't want to have to go to work tomorrow and I definitely don't want to have to do that work project." Again, stress, frustration, anger, or possible depression- everything we try to avoid if we're trying to be healthy individuals.
Let's switch it around a little:
"I'm choosing to go to work tomorrow and choosing to complete this project because I'm choosing to be active in a job that provides for me and my family." That changes perspective a bit, doesn't it?


My point in all of this is the following:
Ultimately, the things we do every day are a result of the choices we make. However, it's easy for each of us to view our lives as a series of "have to" activities being thrust upon us by others. This certainly won't lead to health and peace in our lives, will it?

What would happen if you and I (and those around us!) were able to change perspective from "have to" to "choose to"? What would be different?

Now it's your turn?
Do you or someone close to you get caught up in the "have to" in life? What are the results? What might be different if you replaced "have to" with "choose to" in your life? Are you willing to give it a try and see?

Thankfulness Project Monday

It's hard to believe it's Monday, and that it's time for another edition of "Thankfulness Project Monday." If you are unfamiliar with the idea of the Thankfulness project, you can click here for some background information.

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.

-- Epictetus

Here are a few of the things I'm thankful for this week:

• Time to read at the pool: I spend almost every day of winter dreaming of this very thing! I love sitting and relaxing, while reading a great book for fun! I love reading for work, but it's nice to have a break and get to read something completely unrelated to the field of counseling and psychology. This author has actually written 2 books about her life, and they are fascinating!
• Dancing: This past weekend I went to a wedding, and had a fabulous time! Weddings are not only a lot of fun (read: getting to dance all night!) but also a great time to see friends I haven't seen in awhile. I was pretty sad that the wedding weekend couldn't have continued for a few more days. 
• Time With People I Care About: The last few weeks, I've gotten to see a lot of people I haven't seen in many months, and it's been so good for my heart to be able to be with them. I'm so thankful that I've gotten to see as many people as I have these past days!
• Music: I think it's good for the heart...you agree? When I'm in a bad mood, music has the ability to help life my mood almost immediately, and it helps make many situations more fun!
• My Guest Posters! Every Tuesday and Thursday this month I've had some wonderful bloggers write guest posts for me. These have been fantastic, and I hope that you've enjoyed reading them as much as I have! If you'd like to share your own health or wellness journey, let me know! 

Now it's your turn!

What are you thankful for this week? I would love to see you all doing your own "Thankfulness Project Monday" posts too, so know that you are more then free to do so! Just link back here and let me know:) 

Fantastic Fridays (Life's Tiny Delights)

Last week I chose a food item for my tiny delight of the week, so today I thought I'd share another food item. This is actually sort of a tiny delight for the summer, and for a long time to come I think. I've always loved eating peanut butter, but up until this summer I've just eaten plain or plain w/honey peanut butter. This summer, however, that all changed.

I'm a fan of chocolate, so when this Dark Chocolate peanut butter caught my eyes, I quickly picked it up and put it in my cart. Seriously, this stuff is delicious. They have a White Chocolate one that I would love to try! And, if you're looking to add a little zing to your peanut butter sandwich, this is a great way to do it! I had wanted to try almond butter for awhile, so when I found it I picked up a jar as well. Again, I was not disappointed. This stuff is delicious and healthy! I didn't end up making too many sandwiches with it, but i did eat it as a snack with animal crackers. Both of these changed up a very common meal and snack for me, and I felt good about the food choice I was making! 

Here are some search terms for you:

• Chicken Souvlaki (If you haven't tired it, you really need to. It's DELICIOUS!)
• Mistaken Identity Book Synopsis (check out the book. It's incredible.)
• Beauty of the Outdoors
• Not Facing Up To Things
• Wellness Wheel

Here's what I'd like to know:

What's your favorite type of Peanut Butter? What's the weirdest way you eat peanut butter?

My First Attempt At Spinning

Life is like riding a bicycle - in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving.  

~Albert Einstein

Do you remember this post on living life as a daring adventure?
How about this post, on doing one thing every day that scares you?

I took both of these to heart this past Thursday as I decided to do one thing that scared me: take a spinning class. I'm sure you're thinking something along the lines of "seriously...why would getting on a stationary bike scare you?" or "what does that have to do with living life as a daring adventure?". Here's the deal. I haven't really ridden a bike since the summer of 2001. I was on the back of a tandem bike for about 1 minute last fall, so that hardly counts. Essentially, I haven't done the biking motion in exactly one decade. I decided it was time to "get back on the bike" and try something that freaked me out just a little bit.

I decided to start off with a 30 minute spin class. The instructor started class off by coming over to make sure I got the bike set up well, and giving an encouraging word. I LOVED that. It led me to feel cared about in the class, and empowered that I could actually do this thing. We started with a short warm up, and then started climbing the hills. We would climb hills for up to 3-4 minutes, the whole time standing on our pedals, and then sit down as we "went down the hill." A few times she got off the bike and walked around giving encouraging words to people, which I thought was fantastic. Towards the end as we were climbing our final big hill, she walked around with a bottle of water and cups for people who hadn't come prepared.
I guess my other workouts have gotten me more in shape then I thought, because I didn't struggle too much!

The other thing I loved about this was that immediately following the spinning class, the instructor walked us to a different room for 30 minutes of stretching and core work. I loved the combination, and I'm sure helped me be less sore the next day too.

What's the verdict? I would definitely do spin class again, and already have it on the schedule for this week! This also fulfills one of my new years resolutions, which was to try a new form of exercise!

What I'd like to know:
Have you done anything lately that's "scared" you at all?
Do you like riding bicycles, or would you prefer another type of exercise? 

Working Out While You Work

Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it.  ~Author Unknown

The last two evenings I've spent shoveling mulch from a huge pile on the driveway into a wheelbarrow. Then the mulch was dumped in the backyard. This morning I will spend the morning spreading the mulch...I'm trying to not get too excited about it:) Also, please try to not be jealous as you think of me sweating away in piles of wood. Seriously. 


Ok, enough of the sarcasm. As I was shoveling yesterday, I began to think of the nature of household chores, and how easy it is to complain about it. We can't avoid the housework (ok...I guess we can avoid it, but not if we want clean, safe, and healthy houses!), but we CAN make it fun. Why make it a miserable time for ourself, our significant other, or our children? 


I got to thinking. What could possibly be remotely "fun" about shoveling mulch? Well, I was complaining in my head about not getting a workout in, and then realized that I could use this as my workout. This immediately shifted my focus. I got into a healthy and safe position, and focused on different muscles as I shoveled. I did yoga and pilates like moves while I was waiting for the mulch to be dumped in the backyard. Did I look a little stupid? Sure. Did I feel better about the time I spent shoveling? Absolutely. I got my heart rate up, and threw a little strength training in there too.


My point is this. You can make healthy choices even while doing your household chores. Better yet. If someone else is there with you, try to make a game out of it. There's no need for the chores to be a waste of time and not fun! Summer is a great time to set a new, healthy pattern for your work, so take the first step today and try to increase health in this area! You'll dread the housework a lot less... 


Do you ever do a workout while doing a daily task or chore? What's your most dreaded chore?

Fantastic, Fun Fridays

Ok, so the title is a work in progress. How about we put that behind us for a moment (but if you have suggestions, feel free to send them my way!), ok? So, let's be honest. By the time Friday rolls around, most of us don't want to read a heavy or heady post...we're looking for something fun. In that vain, I'm trying to develop a regular theme for my Friday's post. I'm still trying to decide all that I want to include. However, over the last few weeks, I've slowly added my "life's tiny delights"posts on Fridays, and I'm trying to think about how I want to expand this. Anything you'd like to see on Fridays.

To recap, here are some of my Life's Tiny Delights Friday Posts:

• Life's Tiny Delights: Enjoying Nature
• Life's Tiny Delights: Froyo
• Life's Tiny Delights: An Intro

Ok, now that you have a little history on the development of life's tiny delights, and growing the practice of mindfulness from moment, let's move on to a current tiny delight of mine. 

As we're busy with our to do lists and worries in life, we forget to look around and enjoy the things we are seeing in the present moment. As I was walking quickly down a street last week, I saw this little tomato plant out of the corner of my eye. I did a double take, and decided to stop and enjoy the scene. It's quaint, isn't it? I stood there and imagined different activities I could do there (coffee with friends, reading a book, or blogging to name a few!), and I found myself feeling incredibly relaxed and peaceful. 

Everyone loves looking at the fun search terms that brought people to their blog...right? I certainly love seeing what others post. I think it's also interesting to see the reoccurring subjects that regularly bring people to the blog. That being said, here are a few funny phrases that people searched and found my blog:

• chobani and activia in the same day too much (hmmm...I wonder what they were experiencing that lead them to type that...?)
• i am a fellow traveler (leading me to think...a fellow traveler in what?)
• tips for surviving the holiday lights (why do we need to survive holiday lights? Is there a chance for attack? Are they a danger? :) I'm pretty sure google took that as holiday fights...a post I did during the Christmas season. 
• identifying cognitive distortions list. (this is a very common keyword search. If you haven't read those posts yet, check them out!). 

Alright, that's all for this Friday.

Now here's what I'd like to know from you: What's the funniest keyword that has been searched on your blog this week? What would you like to see as part of a light & fun Friday post? 

A Few Wise Words...

"Do one thing every day that scares you." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Moment of honesty with each of you: I'm naturally on the more fearful end of the spectrum. Over the years, I've learned to talk through my fears, decide what's rational and irrational, and learn to develop self talk to address this. This has been incredibly helpful. But sometimes the fear is still there. The above quote has been an encouragement to me throughout the years as I try to face fear in the face. But WHY should we do one thing every day that scares us?

Well, I don't think there's something magical in one thing every day, nor do I think it has to be all or nothing. Do one thing every week that scares you if you'd like. I also think it's important to remember that the things that scare us can be simply making a phone call (perhaps calling a company to let them know about an incorrect charge is terrifying to you!) or emailing a friend you had a fight with last week. It can also be something big, like getting on an airplane of sky diving. It's important to face our fear so we remain free to do things in the world, instead of cutting more and more activities out, making daily living increasingly difficult. Facing the fears we have not only opens up more of the world to us, but helps us to develop courage. This helps us live life as a daring adventure. 

Here's a picture of one thing I've done recently that's been a little scary (and kind of fun too!):

Source

At one point I stood at the very front of this huge crowd (of almost 50,000 people according to some reports) in the middle of a riot in Greece. While the time I was there was peaceful, some riots before had become violent...so I was a little nervous. It was fun to be there and witness history happening, and get to talk to the Greek people about their perspectives on the issues at hand. 

Now it's your turn: What things scare you (big or little)? Have you faced any of your fears lately? If so, what did you do?

When Tomorrow Comes...

I'm sorry for my lack of post yesterday. I did have a post up on Wednesday (a delicious pizza recipe!), but blogger hasn't completely restored everything yet, I guess. If that post has vanished forever, I'll repost...it's too good to NOT share it!

I found this quote today, and I thought it was great, and just knew that I had to pass it along?

"This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to 

use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today 

is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When 

tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something 

that you have left behind...let it be something good."  

 -  Author Unknown 

I wonder how our choices in the day would be different if we started every day with this thought, with the awareness that we have been given this day, and that we have the choice to use it for good, or let it waste away. Anyways, I know you all aren't probably going to want to read a long post on a Friday night, so I'm leaving it at this. Just a little something to mull over. 

A few questions:

What might be different if you were mindfully aware of this quote?

What topics would you like to see discussed on this blog?

Do you have any fun plans for the weekend?

Thankfulness Project Monday

I'm so very sorry for my lack of posting this past week. I've had a few major projects that I've been working on, and this has made free time very scarce. I hope to get back to a more regular posting schedule soon. That being said, I of course couldn't miss the list of things I'm thankful for:

• Easter Weekend: I had a long weekend, and spent some time with my family. It was fun, relaxing, and the perfect break for an incredibly hectic week for me. It was much needed!
• The Hope & Promise in Easter: I'm so thankful for the cross and all the promises and hopes that it means in life. 
• Spring Dresses! Ok, I understand that this may seem just a little pathetic, especially following the first two on my list. BUT, they are fun, and can help brighten my mood:) After months of the cold, snowy winter, it's finally time to break these out! So, while this isn't something of great substance, right now it warrants a spot on my list. 
• Yoga: I like to mix pilates lessons in with yoga to create a great workout for myself. Although I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with it (see my post here on this relationship). It's relaxing, helps me practice mindfulness, and I can tell that I'm developing strength from it. 
• Life: I'm thankful for life. Sounds a little funny I guess on this list, but I'm so thankful for the chance to live and experience love, relationship, travel, and everything in between. Living is hard, for sure, but it's beautiful as well. I'm thankful for the living that I've had a chance to do. 

So, there you go. A few of the things I'm thankful for on this Monday morning. 

How was your Easter weekend? What are you thankful for today? 

Do You Hold the Reigns, or Does Someone Else Have The Power?

I love quotes! I'm sure after this week you haven't figured this out yet... This quote has stuck out in my mind for two reasons: The first-It's SO TRUE! The second-it reminds me of boundaries, and you all know how much I love talking about boundaries! (For my series on boundaries, click on this link and it will redirect you to all the other links on boundaries. For an alternative way to access my posts on boundaries, you can click the "boundary" label at the bottom of this post!)

Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you 
permit yourself to be disturbed by him.
-- Epictetus (55-135 AD) Greek Philosopher

Remember that with boundaries, we control our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. If we let another person control our feelings (such as anger), then we hand over the control and reigns of our life. If another person controls our feelings, then they control if we are ever happy, or when we get over our anger. And THAT doesn't sound great, does it? I'm certainly not ready to sign over the power in my life to someone else like that.

What are your thoughts on this quote? Do you permit others to have power over your life?

The Proper Function of Man...

This is the 3rd post in my series of quotes. Make sure to check out the other ones this week:)
This is a quote that I found back in January of 2007, and remained written on a post it note on my computer until recently.

The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not
waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.

-- Jack London

What do you think the difference is between living and existing? 

The True Poetry of Life

This is the 2nd post in my week of quotes! Make sure to check out all the posts this week, and share your own favorite quote(s) as well!

Nothing will sustain you more potently than the power to recognize in your humdrum routine, as perhaps it may be thought, the true poetry of life.
-Sir William Osler

The humdrum routine. I think many times we get caught up in the countdowns to big and exciting events in life (a vacation, reunion with friends, or even the weekend). Now, there's nothing wrong with getting excited about an upcoming event, but if we focus solely on these events, and not the normal, daily routine, I think we miss the beauty. What stuck out to me in this quote is the "poetry of life". I think it's beautiful.

Where do you find the true poetry of life? Is there an upcoming event you are looking forward to?

An introduction to the concept of wellness

Over the last two years I've become increasingly interested in the ideas of health & wellness, and how these  sorts of issues play out both in the counseling session, as well as the general lives of the clients that I see. Over the last two years, I've tried as best as possible to implement elements of wellness into my life, not only to help me to be the healthiest person that I can be, but also so I can in turn help my clients implement components of wellness into their lives as well. Wellness is something that I am completely passionate about, and believe deeply in the importance of incorporating it into daily life.

Historically, wellness was predominantly viewed as the absence of identified pathology.  Thus, the absence of an anxiety disorder, depression, or eating disorder was equated with health (Hattie, Myers, & Sweeney, 2004). However, neutrality does not equal health (Keyes, 2007). Instead, the enlarging concept of “health” suggests that it is the presence of positive components in life that leads to wellness and mental health (Roscoe, 2009). These positive components are not necessarily an automatic feature of daily life, and therefore must be intentionally incorporated.  Many of these components require continual attention and focus (e.g. nutrition, physical exercise, or friendship relationships), as wellness levels change throughout the lifespan, depending on specific circumstances and environment. Furthermore, both active and passive wellness choices in early stages of development (such as among undergraduate students), may affect overall wellness later in life such as at age sixty and seventy (Myers, Sweeney, & Witmer, 2000).

It's important to remember that wellness isn't JUST physical health or emotional health, but it is a number of characteristics or components combining together that creates wellness. And each of these components need to be attended to on a regular basis to ensure that health and wellness exist. I hope to incorporate health & wellness concepts throughout this blog, and I figured that now is a good time to begin writing, as people usually start to develop new years resolutions. Examine the various areas of your life, and see what areas of strength are, and what are the areas of improvement in the different components of wellness in your life! 

Hattie, J.A., Myers, J.E., & Sweeney, T.J. (2004). A factor structure of wellness: Theory, assessment, analysis and practice. Journal of Counseling and Development, 82, 354-364.

Keyes, C.L.M. (2007). Promoting and protecting mental health as flourishing: A complementary strategy for improving national mental health. American Psychologist, 62, 95-108.

Myers, J.E., Sweeney, T.J., & Witmer, M. (2000). The wheel of wellness counseling for wellness: A holistic model for treatment planning. Journal of Counseling & Development, 78, 251-266.

Roscoe, L.J. (2009). Wellness: A review of theory and measurement for counselors. Journal of Counseling & Development, 87, 216-226.