Wellness Wednesday: {Sense of Control}

Welcome back to Wellness Wednesday! If you haven't read the rest of the series, you can catch up on the posts here:
Wellness Wednesday: {An Introduction}
Wellness Wednesday: {An Introduction pt. 2}
Wellness Wednesday: {The Wheel of Wellness Part 1}
Wellness Wednesday: {The Wheel of Wellness Part 2}
Wellness Wednesday: {Life Task 1: Spirituality}
Wellness Wednesday: {Life Task 2: Self Direction} 
Wellness Wednesday: {Sense of Worth}

For those of you who have read some of the posts, you might recall that I'm using the idea of the Wheel of Wellness to visually represent wellness for the individual.

Source

Last week I introduced the first subtask under "self direction": Sense of Worth. Today I'll talk about the 2nd spoke of the wheel, sense of control.

Myers & Sweeney define "Sense of Control" the following way:

Beliefs about mastery, competence, self-confidence, locus of control, self-efficacy, presentation of oneself as having influence through exercise of imagination, knowledge, skill, and choice; sense of planfulness in life; ability to be direct in expressing one’s needs (assertiveness)

Sense of control is an interesting component of wellness, as I think this is generally looked over when thinking about the idea of wellness. I think that boundaries play a big part in the idea of sense of control. Remember that with healthy boundaries, we realize that we can only control our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. No one else can control these things in us unless we choose to give up our control. When we understand what we have control of in life, we become a healthier individual. If you'd like to know more about establishing and growing healthy boundaries in your life, you can click here. 

The term "locus of control" may be unfamiliar to some of you. An individual either has an internal or external locus of control. With an External Locus of Control, an individual believes that his/her behavior is guided by fate, luck, or other external circumstances With an Internal Locus of Control, the individual believes that his/her behavior is guided by his/her personal decisions and efforts. Those with an internal locus of control tend to be healthier, less stressed, and achieve more in life then those with an external locus of control. 

How many of you know what you need in life, but don't tell others around you that you need it? It's easy to feel frustrated or angry at those people for not giving what you need, but can they be blamed if you choose to not tell them? A sense of control in life also includes a willingness to speak out when you need something in life, and allow yourself to be heard! 

I love that a sense of planfulness is a component of health in life. I think in the healthy living world, we talk about setting goals to help you meet your desired outcomes. Setting goals is a crucial part of successful behavior change and health. Unless we know what we're aiming for, we won't know how to get where we want to be. If you'd like to know more about setting goals for successful behavior change, you can click here. 

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

1. Do I have healthy boundaries? Do I take responsibility for my own thoughts, feelings, and actions? Do I blame others for the things I'm responsible for in life?
2. Do I have an internal or external locus of control in life? What can I do to move to a more internal locus of control?
3. What are my needs in life? Do I let others around me know what my needs are?
4. Do I have a sense of planfulness in my life? Do I write goals for my life?
5. What activities am I competent in? How do these play out in my life?

Throughout this series so far, what are you realizing about wellness in your life? Do you think healthy boundaries are hard to establish?

The Best Laid Plans... {And randomness from the week}

Do you ever have those nights (or weeks) that are full of good intentions and plans, and yet when the time comes, everything changes and nothing planned actually happens? Well, that's how most of this week has been for me. Last night, for example, I actually got out of work at around 5:15, and had nothing on the schedule for the evening. And, you may call me a nerd, I was excited to use my free evening to read up on some of the latest research on perfectionism. However, with a long series of phone calls that came in one after the next, and a friend in need, it was soon 10 o'clock and I had done nothing. Well, at least nothing that I had planned. But sometimes things pop up that we don't plan, and we have to be flexible and adjust. 

Tonight I will be writing the next few posts of my perfectionism series. If you have any questions about it, I'll do my best to answer. In the meantime, why not read up on the posts in the series so far?

• Hello, I'm ____ and I'm A Perfectionist
• Black & White Thoughts of a Perfectionist
• Perfectionism & The Distortion of Identity

I'd be remiss to skip over the devastation that occurred in Japan today. Words don't really seem so appropriate for the magnitude of what occurred...I'm sending my thoughts and prayers to those there, and for family & friends of those living in Japan. 

Despite the fact that there's been a lot of stress and unrest in many parts of the world the last few weeks, my day was rather calm and peaceful. I'll leave you for the night with a few pictures from my day:

My day started with a free Earl Gray Tea latte on my way to work 

Then a friend stopped by work to give me some flowers. So pretty & spring-ish! 

Then, driving home, I saw this beautiful scene. LOVE it.

Despite the pain & devastation going on, did you have good moments in the day? 

A reflection of a week of Family, Food, and Being Thankful...

Well, another Thanksgiving has come and gone, and we have now entered into the crazy Christmas season. This week was really wonderful. With family it's always a tricky balance in deciding when to stand up for yourself (and now allow yourself to be a doormat!) and removing yourself from situations which will quickly disintegrate. I definitely got to practice this balance this weekend, and feel like I did a pretty good job balancing and maintaining the boundaries I have set. The time that I spent with some of my family members was incredibly precious to me, as I know time with them is very short.
I've been reflecting a lot on how different my life is now compared to last Thanksgiving. This year certainly had twists and turns and pain that I couldn't even imagine as I stuffed my face with Turkey last year. However, this year had lots of joy, laughter, traveling, and accomplishment that I will always remember. So, I guess when it comes down to it, I'm overwhelming thankful that I could stand with family and friends and survive the year, through the ups and downs, and still be able to laugh and love. Humans are surprisingly resilient, and I'm very thankful for this.

So now, the transition into parties, snacking, stress, planning, and celebrations is upon us. Instead of waiting until January 1st to "Start Over" or set healthy goals, why not start right now? The month of December doesn't have to be a waste in regards to your health. So why not take a few moments to reflect on your life and set a few small goals for the month to help you maintain health. (see my previous post for setting healthy goals that you will be successful in meeting!) Some possible categories: Stress, Organization, Food, Working Out, or Relationships. Let me know how you're taking control of your health during the holidays!