The Development of Perfectionism {Part 2}

I took a break in my series on perfectionism to talk about why I wasn't complaining. If you haven't checked it out yet, you can read it here . While you're at it, if you haven't read Part 1 of the Development of Perfectionism yet, check it out here before going on...then come back here:) So, in the last post on perfectionism, I introduced the idea of the development of perfectionism, I discussed a little about social learning, and the expectations and standards of others.

In Elliot &Hewitt's 2002 book entitled Perfectionism: Theory, Research, and Treatment, they discussed the family environment of perfectionism. Here are some of the things they discovered in the connection between family characteristics and perfectionism:

• Maternal rejection or shaming behavior
• Low levels of maternal tolerance and affection
• Higher levels of parental overprotection & control
• Shame by those around the person
• Poor health in the family of origin
• Low parental care
• Parental control & perfectionism was also indicated in the development of eating disorders

These characteristics tend to lead to self-oriented perfectionism, instead of some of the characteristics from yesterday, which lead to more others-oriented perfectionism. There are also personal characteristics of the child that tend to lead to implementing more perfectionistic standards in life. These include:

• Temperament (aspects of a person's personality that are innate, like introversion or extroversion) 
• "We believe that perfectionists have a temperament that is characterized by high levels of emotionality, including high fearfulness, along with high levels of persistence" (Elliot & Hewitt, 2002, p. 111). 
• Attachment Style (the way you interact with others in more intimate relationships)
• Ability of the child to be influenced by those around him or her
• Personal definitions of success & failure
• Distorted thinking
• People Pleaser

It's important to remember that perfectionism doesn't generally develop solely because of one factor. There's usually some mixture of environmental, parental, & personal factors that lead to holding perfectionistic standards in life. Knowing the "why" of perfectionism doesn't necessarily help to change it (you can spend hours in therapy trying to figure out why you are thinking the way you do, or you can spend a little time discussing it, and then dive into challenging and changing those standards), but sometimes it helps us understand that we aren't "just nuts" like we sometimes can believe. 

Ok, this was a very brief, tip of the iceberg, explanation on how perfectionism can develop. Understanding this can help give us some answers to why we are the way that we are, and it can help to inform our behaviors when we raise children of our own. Knowing all of this, we need to start changing how we think and what our standards are, so that we don't remain stuck in the trap of perfectionism.

*you can find the rest of the posts in my series on perfectionism here.

If you struggle with perfectionistic tendencies, can you see anything that might contribute to the development of it in your life? Are you ready to start challenging your thinking?

My little Lifesaver...

You may think that I'm a nerd after this post. Since I was in elementary school, I've gotten sinus infections most of the winter. This progressively got worse until my junior year of college, when I had a sinus infection for 7.5 of the 9 months of the year, even being put on steroids. I went to the ENT (ear, nose, throat) doctor after my junior year, and he said he had one last thing to try, and then we'd have to resort to surgery. I definitely didn't want surgery, so I was willing to try anything! At that point, the doctor pulled out a little bottle that looked like this:

Ok, so it looks like I'm advertising for them. But seriously, this little guy has saved me hours and hours of sick time, going to the doctor, and tons of medications. I know I have bronchitis right now, but this is the first time I've been sick on meds for some sort of cold for 4 years! And obviously this is a huge change from the years I spent getting sick. So basically, this rinse clears out allergens (yes-this is PERFECT for allergy season) from the sinuses, and helps decrease swelling and pressure. So, instead of taking medicine for sinus headaches or migraines, this usually does the trick.

So, my suggestion: RUN OUT AND BUY ONE FOR YOURSELF AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! Here's a link to the website that will give you more information. This little rinse will help you have a healthier winter and allergy season!

Bronchitis (my current BFF)

I've been home sick from work the last 3 days with a fever reaching 103.5 degrees & bronchitis. I don't think anything has knocked me down from work this long except for influenza. You'd think that I could muster some strength for a creative post about Ecuador (don't worry...it's coming!), but for now, this is a post dedicated to Bronchitis (it's on my mind a little bit!). I know a number of friends around the country have also been diagnosed with bronchitis, so I thought I'd post the signs and symptoms for bronchitis. Knowing symptoms can help you seek treatment faster, and hopefully catch it before it sets in too deeply. The following is from the Mayo Clinic Website

For either acute bronchitis or chronic bronchitis, signs and symptoms may include:

• Cough
• Production of mucus (sputum), either clear or white or yellowish-gray or green in color
• Shortness of breath, made worse by mild exertion
• Wheezing
• Fatigue
• Slight fever and chills
• Chest discomfort

If you have acute bronchitis, you may have a nagging cough that lingers for several weeks after the bronchitis resolves. However, bronchitis symptoms can be deceptive. You don't always produce sputum when you have bronchitis, and children often swallow coughed-up material, so parents may not know there's a secondary infection. You can develop chronic bronchitis without first developing acute bronchitis. And many smokers have to clear their throats every morning when they get up, which, if it continues for more than three months, may be chronic bronchitis.

Treatment includes:

The goal of treatment for bronchitis is to relieve symptoms and ease breathing. Sometimes, all you may need to recover from acute bronchitis may be:

• Rest
• Drinking fluids
• Breathing in warm, moist air
• Taking an over-the-counter (OTC) cough suppressant and acetaminophen (Tylenol, others) or aspirin (for adults)

Here are a few things I've found that have helped me:

1. Lots of hot tea with honey. This has helped to break up blockage in the throat, decreasing coughing and helping with ease of breathing.

2. "Steaming"- My mom did this with me while growing up. Fill a sink with hot water, and hang your head over the sink with a towel over your head to trap in the heat.

3. Deep Breathing to help decrease the chance of Pneumonia

4. SLEEP! I have a desire to push myself, force myself to clean, organize, or go to work. But I've forced myself to rest and sleep all day

5. Nasal Lavage- This helps to clear out my sinuses and decrease the passage

6. Cough into your elbow or sleeve. DO NOT COUGH INTO YOUR HANDS, because this will spread to others...