The Benefits Of The Winter Seasons In Our Lives

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did
not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.
- Charlotte Bronte

Winter can be a struggle, can't it? Although this year has been a little different then many years (warmer temperature, more sun, etc...), winter can still be a bit of a drag. For those who experience some degree of seasonal affective disorder, it can be even more difficult. For more information on that, check out the following posts:
Surviving The Winter Blues

What Is Seasonal Affective Disorder?
Causes of Seasonal Affective Disorder
Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder

Treatments For Seasonal Affective Disorder

Last year I wrote a post entitled Is There Hope In Winter? I'd like to discuss again a point I brought up in that post. While many of us don't love winter, it provides an interesting reminder and lesson for our lives. While winter is a long, dark, tiresome, or sad period of our lives, we go through it confident that spring will come once again. With it, spring will bring sunshine, new life, flowers, birds chirping, and a heightened mood. The seasons mirror an important lesson for our lives. The winter allows us to learn how to survive unpleasant situations while having hope that spring will come, and with it will come joy once again. When we hit times of adversity, like winter, we feel distress, notice our mood decreases, and feel like the light in our lives decreases. Adversity doesn't last forever, just like winter. Following times of adversity and grief comes the signs of spring, slowly and surely creeping into our lives again. 

There is hope. Whether it's the weather, a tough situation, adversity, pain, or grief- spring will come. Joy will return. 

Now it's your turn!

How do you allow the hope of spring to get you through winter or times of adversity in life? What's your favorite season?

Do You Let Suffering Transform You?

I love quotes! Quotes tend to stick out in our minds when we encounter situations, are inspirational, and express sometimes what we want to say but can't find the words to verbalize. I tend to love quotes because they teach and provide wisdom. If you click on the "quotes" label at the bottom of this post, you can find some of my other favorite quotes.

"I discovered in that moment that I had the power to choose the direction my life would head, even if the only choice open to me, at least initially, was either to run from the loss or to face it as best I could. Since I knew that darkness was inevitable and unavoidable, I decided from that point on to walk into the darkness rather than try to outrun it, to let my experience of loss take me on a journey wherever it would lead, and to allow myself to be transformed by my suffering rather than to think I could somehow avoid it...The decision to face the darkness, even if it led to overwhelming pain, showed me that the experience of loss itself does not have to be the defining moment of our lives. Instead, the defining moment can be our response to the loss. It's not what happens to us that matters as much as what happens in us. Darkness, it is true, had invaded my soul. But then again, so did light..." (A Grace Disguised, pg 43-45).

These words were penned by Jerry Sittser, who, in one moment of time, lost his mom, wife, and daughter in a car accident. This has been a favorite quote of mine for a number of years. I love the idea of being transformed by our sufferings. Things happen to us in life, and sometimes these things are horrible and painful. Allowing these things to change us, grow us, and transform us doesn't negate the pain, but it allows there to be something good that comes out of it as well. Facing the darkness is scary! We tend to want to try to outrun the darkness, but ultimately the darkness catches up to us, and we have to experience the pain. So instead of trying to run away from pain, can you turn around, stare it straight in the fact, and walk through it?

What do you like about quotes? Do you tend to try to outrun pain, or do you face it & deal with it?

Give Your Adult Children A Chance To Prove You Wrong!

We've all been there-the awkwardness we experience after we've moved out of the house (whether it's for college, a job, or just to become more independent) and now interact with our parents as adults. It takes some time (maybe a few months, a few years, or for some, maybe it will never happen) to figure out how to interact with your parents as an adult child, and for parents, it takes awhile to view your children as even semi-competent! 

For example, I went to my parent's house for Christmas, and when we'd get home from being out somewhere, my dad still told me "Go wash your hands." Ahem...if I'm old enough to counsel people, I'm pretty sure that I don't need to be told to wash my hands when I've been out. We've all been there. 

The frustrating thing is, we all easily revert back to our role in the family, and the way we functioned when we left the house. It takes an incredible amount of energy and intentional effort to change this. 

I had 3 clients complain to me today that all they want is for their parents to give them the chance to show them how they've changed instead of just assuming that they are the way they were when they moved out of the house at age 18. Parents (and aunts, uncles, grandparents, siblings, and family friends!)- Please give your kids a chance to show you have they have grown and changed since they graduated from high school. Guess what-they might not have changed. But more then likely, there will be a lot of changes that you'll have missed too! Of course there are always those people that just don't seem to grow up, but the vast majority of us are not the same people we were when we were 18. If everyone around us is trying to stuff us back into that mold, we would never have had the chance to continue to grow, change, and fulfill our purpose in life. PLEASE! Step back for a moment and watch for the little changes and progress that your kids make, and encourage them on in the changes. And don't treat them like they are incompetent little children:) We all remember how we felt when others did that to us... 

Feel free to DM me on twitter or leave comments here telling your own funny stories!