Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Give Your Adult Children A Chance To Prove You Wrong!

We've all been there-the awkwardness we experience after we've moved out of the house (whether it's for college, a job, or just to become more independent) and now interact with our parents as adults. It takes some time (maybe a few months, a few years, or for some, maybe it will never happen) to figure out how to interact with your parents as an adult child, and for parents, it takes awhile to view your children as even semi-competent! 
For example, I went to my parent's house for Christmas, and when we'd get home from being out somewhere, my dad still told me "Go wash your hands." Ahem...if I'm old enough to counsel people, I'm pretty sure that I don't need to be told to wash my hands when I've been out. We've all been there. 

The frustrating thing is, we all easily revert back to our role in the family, and the way we functioned when we left the house. It takes an incredible amount of energy and intentional effort to change this. 

I had 3 clients complain to me today that all they want is for their parents to give them the chance to show them how they've changed instead of just assuming that they are the way they were when they moved out of the house at age 18. Parents (and aunts, uncles, grandparents, siblings, and family friends!)- Please give your kids a chance to show you have they have grown and changed since they graduated from high school. Guess what-they might not have changed. But more then likely, there will be a lot of changes that you'll have missed too! Of course there are always those people that just don't seem to grow up, but the vast majority of us are not the same people we were when we were 18. If everyone around us is trying to stuff us back into that mold, we would never have had the chance to continue to grow, change, and fulfill our purpose in life. PLEASE! Step back for a moment and watch for the little changes and progress that your kids make, and encourage them on in the changes. And don't treat them like they are incompetent little children:) We all remember how we felt when others did that to us... 

Feel free to DM me on twitter or leave comments here telling your own funny stories!

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